Jonathan had some birthday money that was burning a hole in his pocket, and I was tired of fixing the hole, so we decided to go to Dick's and make a permanent reparation.
We drove our suburban car - not the antediluvian but hale and hearty van which would have been more in keeping with the atmosphere of the outing - to the mall where the local Dick's is located. I don't mind Dick's at all, since it is clean, airy, well lit, and maned with normal punkish youths from the surrounding community. It is not at all like the dim and over-stuffed "gun-stores" with the ancient clerk who makes me think of the dry goods store out of a Western.
Upon arrival we make a direct line to the upper level, back right corner (from the mall side), where the armaments are housed. We passed rows of paintball supplies, then archery equipment, getting deeper into the hallows of manly accoutrements. At the very back they keep the firearms and knives. Besides fists and other bodily weapons, those two are probably the most virile and basic of all weapons in the world - in my humble female opinion.
Just before you come to the shrine of long guns you find the firearm accessories cache. For men, such things are a basic necessity, just like shoes and purse for ladies. We looked over the merchandise and I zoned in on a green quilted case with a brown leather shoulder strap, brown leather trim, brass studs, a large perky external pocket. It was very classy. Much nicer than the nasty nylon cases with handles and that ridiculous "tree camo". How vile! Whenever I see that stuff my aesthetic sense revolts, screaming "unsophisticated, boorish provincial"!!!! (A gold star for the first person who can recognise that definition and tell me what word I avoided using.)
When asked my opinion I refrained from bashing the nylon cases for their lack of class and urbanity, instead suggested that since the green case had a shoulder strap it would make carrying while hunting simpler, as it would leave the hands free to do whatever hands do when one is hunting. (Having never been hunting I do not presume to know what ones does with any part of ones body while hunting. I do know that one does not keep the firearm in the case, so my advise would only be useful while trudging to the hiding spot not in the actual hunting of the beast. I have read that most of hunting is sitting still waiting for the unsuspecting critter to come wandering by your post, but this is still an unverified assumption. Any intelligence on the matter is welcome.) I also indicated that the large external pocket seemed like it would be more useful for holding stuff than the flat zippered hole on the nylon case.
In the end, the Birthday Barbarian made up his own mind after carefully considering the wifely opinion. I believe that we were both very pleased with the outcome.
Does he not make an impressive picture?
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